RANKING the Halloween Franchise 1978-2022 / Michael Myers Halloween Ends SPEED-ART
I put out a Halloween ranking years ago when I did my previous update to the Evolution Of Michael Myers, but my ranking has changed a lot and some people are gonna be upset by the placement of many of these films. So just remember, this is just my opinion and I’d love to hear yours. With that said, let’s get to this ranking, from worst to best!
13. Halloween II (2009)
And coming in last place is gonna be Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (2009), which I think isn’t a horrible movie. It’s just not really to my taste. Too strange, too grungy, and too angry of a film. I really like Tyler Mane’s portrayal of Michael, but almost every character is either really annoying or just downright awful. It makes it an unpleasant experience to watch and I just don’t really get what he’s trying to say with the white-horse stuff. The quote at the start was made up for the movie, which doesn’t make any sense. Find a real quote if you want to get artsy with your film. And I get that this movie is about dealing with Laurie’s PTSD, but it’s just not a fun watch. I’ve seen some people calling this film a masterpiece on Twitter and I don’t quite see that. I’m glad that some people like this dreary take on the subject matter, but it’s just not for me.
12. Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Coming in 12th is Halloween: Resurrection (2002). Resurrection is just a poorly made film that dances on the grave of the previous entry for a quick cash-grab. The retconning of Michael’s death is probably about as egregious as the franchise ever gets, and the mask he wears here, while less goofy than H20’s, is so weird and has contouring makeup to get the same definition as the original film’s mask. It’s like they don’t realize that film’s definition for the mask came from the lighting and way it was worn, not horrible added make-up. But if you can get over the opening, which is probably the best part of the film until Laurie is killed off, then there is some fun to be had with the webcam series taking place in the Myers’ house. And I know he get’s made fun of a lot for his role in the film, but Busta Rhyme’s is the best part of this movie. He’s having fun and it shows on screen. So overall, this is the lowest point for the first 8 films, but it could have been worse.
11. Halloween (2007)
Coming in 11th is going to be Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007) remake. It’s part prequel part remake, but it’s pure Rob Zombie for better or worse. Now I’m not a huge Rob Zombie fan so I find his hillbilly coarse language-type characters to be pretty annoying, and making Michael sympathetic, while it works for the story he’s telling, just doesn’t make it as much fun to see him killing people, especially since most the people he kills are just awful people themselves. I do appreciate that he brought back Danielle Harris this time playing Annie, because she got boned out of the Jamie Lloyd role in Halloween 6. And I think Malcolm McDowell does a good job as Loomis, especially in the director’s cut, but he is much less likable than Donald Pleasence’s take on the character. I also think Laurie’s actress gets a lot of flack for not being Jamie Lee Curtis, but she does a good job here too. So all in all, this remake is watchable, and if you like Rob Zombie’s other works, I’m more than sure you’ll like this too.
10. Halloween Kills (2021)
Coming into the top 10 is Halloween Kills, which I was surprised it was this low on my list because I had a fun time watching this in theatres. But it just doesn’t hold up on re-watch. The whole town is too dumb to take seriously and everyone makes so many dumb decisions and acts out of character. They also treat Michael Myer’s like he’s been haunting this town for decades, but it was one night, then he was locked up for 40 years, and then he got out again. It’s like they want to pretend like all those other sequels they ret-conned still exist for the town to act this way, it’s so strange. And I get the themes of mob justice and how it’s a bad thing, but you could be a little more subtle with it. With that said, Halloween Kills does give up probably the most overpowered and shark-like Michael Myers hunting his prey to get back to his family house, and I’m all here for that. The flashback scene is also amazing, but the whole idea that he loved looking out his window and was just trying to get back there is so dumb. I miss when Michael had a real motive as a killer. But with that said, if you turn your brain off, you can have some fun with this movie.
9. Halloween Ends (2022)
At number 9 is the epic conclusion to the new trilogy, which of course is Halloween Ends (2021) which I thought was okay. It was certainly a weird way to end this trilogy, introducing Corey and shoehorning in a love story that felt rushed. In a perfect world, Cameron could have survived Kills and taken on this Corey role to possibly make it more connected to the previous entries, obviously with some changes here and there. Although I respect this movie more than Kills because it makes some weird choices and the opening scene is probably the best short vignette this new trilogy has created. I just wish they went further with the Corey and basically took Michael out completely, or focused totally on Michael and finish his and Laurie’s story completely. Also, the biggest fault of this film is the ending with the entire town coming together to toss him into a thresher. It just doesn’t feel as earned as they’re making it seem. But all in all, I’ve watched this one three times, and each time I like it a little more since I no longer have expectations for what it should have been.
8. Halloween (2018)
At number 8 is going to be Halloween (2018), the first of this new trilogy that retconned a whole bunch of films. With that said, I think this is a competently made movie, with great cinematography, acting, awesome look for Michael, and action scenes, although it is shot a little too dark. This whole trilogy is too dark, makes it impossible to see anything, drives me nuts. Having Jamie Lee Curtis come back is a great novelty if she hadn’t already done the same trick 20 years prior with another retcon sequel taking place after H2. And for the most part, the 2018 retcon is a worse film for me. Laurie’s 40 year PTSD Sarah Connor type role feels a little forced to fit into the theme of trauma, and just overall I really don’t think that retconning the previous films for this new time-line was worth it in the end when most of what they had to say was already tackled in earlier films.
7. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
A lot people are not going to get why this film is above the new trilogy but hear me out because in 7th place is Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995). I recognize that this film is poorly edited and the story is weird as heck, but for me. it just captures the feeling of Halloween much more closely than the new trilogy did. Plus I think people forget that this film is well-shot with a really cool-looking Myers mask and jumpsuit. It also has the last performance by Donald Pleasence as Loomis, and he’s really the glue that kept the original series together, never phoning in his performances. We also get an early acting role for Paul Rudd here as Tommy Doyle, and his performance is questionable, but I feel like it adds to the charm. Now, this film falls apart with the story of the druid cult controlling him, but I like how it tried to tie up loose ends and give this franchise a somewhat closed nature. Plus, with both the theatrical and producers cut, you get two ways to watch this, the MTV-grungy Theatrical cut and the more back to basics Producer's cut, both have their flaws but are worth watching in their own right. The worst thing this film does is recasting Jamie Lloyd and having her get killed off. That’s not a satisfying end to her story. But otherwise, I have a lot of fun with this film.
6. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Number 6 is going to go to what was possibly ranked nearly last the previous time I ranked these films and it’s Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1988). Now I know this film is less well-made than the Return of Michael Myers. The mask is just awful. Plus, the set-up that the fourth movie implied is mostly glossed over, but after I get over all of that, I can have a good time with this film. It has a somewhat Gothic look and creepy vibe that doesn’t let up as the film goes on. It also has the most unhinged Loomis put to screen, using Jamie as bait to lure Michael and he spends most of the film yelling at the partly mute Jamie Lloyd, which is hilarious to watch. I also think that the cast of characters, while generic, does provide some interesting fodder for Michael to plow through. It’s a little annoying that Rachel gets the Psycho treatment at the start of this film, but I’m not as annoyed at Tina’s character as other people. she’s a bit of an air-head and a little loud, but I think she gets unnecessarily hated on. But if you were going into this film expecting a Jamie Lloyd and Michael team-up film like what might have been implied at the end of 4, it will be a little disappointing.
5. Halloween: H20: Twenty Years Later (1998)
Coming into the top 5 is Halloween: H20 (1998), which I think is probably the best ending to this film series as a trilogy. Watch H1, then H2, then H20 and that’s a great end. Obviously, ignore Resurrection which resulted in two retconning after it was released. I think we get the best performance by Jamie Lee Curtis and the best final battle with Michael. This film also feels more personal than the latest trilogy because Michael has the sibling angle and revenge as motivators for his madness, whereas the new trilogy has to stumble time and time again to make Michael and Laurie face off against each other. It’s also a more fun entry, with a bit of that “Scream-inspired” feeling and comedy injected into the script. It lacks the atmosphere of the original timeline of films, but the finality of this entry just feels really good in the series. Now obviously, the masks in this film are awful, and I feel people judge the film based on that. I do a little bit too, but once you look past the whole mask thing you’ll find a fun and fresh 90’s slasher film, and one of the best post-Scream era movies.
4. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
Coming in at number 4 is, well, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988). This film is basically a bigger, louder, remake of the first film, but feels enough like it’s own thing that it isn’t a retread of the first film. Yeah, the mask is certainly awful, and the pink and blonde mask in the school scene is ridiculous. How does that happen? But this film introduces Jamie Lloyd as played by Daniell Harris, and she does an amazing job in the role, and I think rivals Laurie Strode for best final girl in the franchise. I think because she’s so young it also adds in the “kids in peril” element that so many works by Spielberg and Stephen King take advantage of, and I think it helps to add more tension because you really care for Jamie. The film also touches on the subject of mob justice with a little less annoying characters than Halloween Kills. And the final ending where Michael is taken down really feels earned. Then it has the one-two punch of that Jamie Lloyd possibly being evil now twist. It’s just a great final, and like H20, you could just watch H1, H2, and Return and call it a day as a trilogy.
3. Halloween II (1981)
At number 3 is the original Halloween II (1981). Now I know John Carpenter doesn’t love this film but I think it’s probably the closest in tone, style and acting to the original film. Most of the original crew came back and the score is possibly the best of the Michael Myers films. More synth-driven and angrier, while still retaining the original’s charm. This film also ups the carnage and really solidifies Michael as a horror icon. Yeah, he looks pretty different here but I think Dick Warlock did a great job in the role. The worst thing this film does is put Laurie in a hospital bed the whole time, but the new characters and the growing craziness of Loomis help to keep the film feels alive. I also like a lot of the new hospital characters, and their death scenes are some of the best in the franchise. So for those reasons I think this is the best Michael Myers-centric sequel.
2. Halloween (1978)
And here is where my list might make people upset. Coming in at number 2 is Halloween (1978). Now, this is probably one of the best slasher films of all time. The score is iconic and the characters are believable. They got lucky getting Donald Pleasence on board as Loomis and Jamie Lee Curtis to play Laurie, two roles that are nearly as iconic as Michael Myers himself. Speaking of Michael Myers, Nick Castle plays him with an earnestness that a lot of the follow-up actors lacked. He’s not a hulking menace. He’s a man with pure evil on his side. Let’s also talk cinematography. Dean Cundy was the director of photography on the first three films and a lot of Carpenter's movies. He brings his A-Game here. helping to make the first three films feel way more expensive than they really are. The lighting and direction and pacing never feel dull, and I can’t really call this film anything less than a masterpiece. It helped create the slasher genre as we know it today, and although films like Psycho, Black Christmas, and Texas Chain Saw Massacre paved the way, it is Halloween (1978) that created a frenzy.
1. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
And now, coming in in first place and my favourite film in the franchise is Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982). This is just a great atmospheric film with good acting, an interesting premise, and awesome cinematography. The score is possibly my favourite in the franchise and really helps to build tension. Now this film is not a slasher movie. It’s more sci-fi horror like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And when I marathon the Halloween franchise, this feels like a breath of fresh air. I recognize it’s not without its flaws, but Tom Atkins’s in the lead role, Stacy Nelkin as his side-kick, and the always great Dan O’Herlihy as the evil mask maker really excel this film for me. And the somewhat ambiguous ending really leaves you feeling so many emotions. So for those reasons and many others, it comes in at number one!
So what do you think of my list? I know a lot people are going to disagree, but that’s what I love about this franchise. There’s so many different ways to watch it and really I think that there isn’t an outright awful film here, mediocre and not my taste at worst, and some of my favourite horror films ever at best. Check out my new animation over on Tell It Animated, And until next time, I’m Aaron and I’ll tell you something later.